{"id": "card_n_743beeda783f", "kind": "note", "title": "Augustine, Confessions §aug_conf_08_025: Thus soul-sick was I, and tormented, accusing myself much more severely than ...", "body": "Thus soul-sick was I, and tormented, accusing myself much more severely than my wont, rolling and turning me in my chain, till that were wholly broken, whereby I now was but just, but still was, held. And Thou, O Lord, pressedst upon me in my inward parts by a severe mercy, redoubling the lashes of fear and shame, lest I should again give way, and not bursting that same slight remaining tie, it should recover strength, and bind me the faster. For I said with myself, \"Be it done now, be it done now.\" And as I spake, I all but enacted it: I all but did it, and did it not: yet sunk not back to my former state, but kept my stand hard by, and took breath. And I essayed again, and wanted somewhat less of it, and somewhat less, and all but touched, and laid hold of it; and yet came not at it, nor touched nor laid hold of it; hesitating to die to death and to live to life: and the worse whereto I was inured, prevailed more with me than the better whereto I was unused: and the very moment wherein I was to become other than I was, the nearer it approached me, the greater horror did it strike into me; yet did it not strike me back, nor turned me away, but held me in suspense.", "source": {"label": "Augustine, Confessions (c. AD 400)", "url": "/canon.html?ref=augustine_aug_conf_08_025", "ref": "aug_conf_08_025", "authority_tier": "father"}, "shelf": "classics", "box": "augustine_confessions", "bands": ["augustine", "confessions", "father"], "connections": [{"to_card_id": "card_n_7457ea9def62", "relationship": "same_section", "origin": "nesting_2026_06_12"}, {"to_card_id": "card_n_73afd63688ab", "relationship": "same_section", "origin": "nesting_2026_06_12"}], "author": "engine", "created_at": "2026-05-19T13:20:57.859083+00:00", "updated_at": "2026-05-19T19:57:55.634609+00:00", "visibility": "public", "lifecycle_stage": "public", "volatility": "permanent", "metrics": {"paperclips_count": 0, "helpful_count": 0, "not_helpful_count": 0, "cite_count": 4, "walks_through_count": 0, "flagged_count": 0}, "source_hash": "f4139e2824050620f43366435b0fc0fafd41137c4347ebb33696085095db942d", "witnesses": [{"class": "manuscript_tradition", "label": "Patrologia Latina (Migne) vol. 32 — Confessions Latin text", "url": "https://patristica.net/latina/", "ref": "PL-32"}, {"class": "critical_edition", "label": "Corpus Christianorum Series Latina (CCSL) 27 — Verheijen", "url": "https://www.corpuschristianorum.org/", "ref": "CCSL-27"}, {"class": "translation", "label": "Pusey translation (1838) — Library of Fathers", "url": "https://www.ccel.org/ccel/schaff/npnf101.html", "ref": "Pusey-1838"}, {"class": "translation", "label": "Pine-Coffin translation (Penguin Classics, 1961)", "ref": "Pine-Coffin-1961"}, {"class": "republication", "label": "Internet Archive — Confessions (multiple editions)", "url": "https://archive.org/search?query=augustine+confessions", "ref": "IA-Confessions"}, {"class": "republication", "label": "Project Gutenberg — Confessions", "url": "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3296", "ref": "PG-3296"}, {"class": "citation_tradition", "label": "Aquinas, Summa Theologica — cites Confessions extensively", "ref": "Aquinas-ST"}], "witness_status": "passed", "witness_status_reason": "7 witnesses across 5 independence classes: ['citation_tradition', 'critical_edition', 'manuscript_tradition', 'republication', 'translation']", "surface": "witness"}